Domestic violence - also called spouse abuse,
family violence, battering, and wife beating - is abusive and
violent behavior between people who are married or living
together, or who have an ongoing or prior intimate relationship
or couples who have children in common. Men can be victims of
domestic violence, although most victims of domestic violence
are women.
The abuse can be physical, ranging from slaps
and kicks to punching and stabbing; or psychological, including
threats or verbal abuse that make a person fear for her/his
safety.
The experiences of domestic violence can
often follow a pattern known as the Cycle of Violence. However,
not everyone's experiences are the same. Sometimes a 'phase'
does not occur or two or more 'phases’ can occur
simultaneously.
The build up phase is when tension begins
to build. In a non-violent relationship, these tensions can
often be resolved. In a domestic violence situation, this build
up phase usually leads to a stand-over phase, where the
violent partner uses both their strength and their belief in
their 'right' to dominate, in order to control and put down
their partner. This then leads to the explosion phase
when the violence (physical/sexual/emotional) occurs.
Afterwards the perpetrator can enter the
remorse phase where they feel ashamed of what has happened,
or they may be afraid of the consequences. They may also try to
justify or minimize their actions by claiming that "she made me
do it", or "it was only a little slap". This can then lead to
the pursuit phase where the abusive partner can try to
win back their partner with gifts and promises. Or they can act
helpless, saying such things as "I can't live without you" or
"I'll kill myself". If these tactics do not work, they can also
revert to the use of more threats and violence.
This then leads to the honeymoon phase
where the relationship appears to be working- the 'incident' is
forgotten and no abuse is taking place. However, nothing is
resolved and it is only a matter of time until it progresses to a
build up of tension, which leads to another stand over and
explosion of violence and so on.
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